REAL NEWS. SPICY CAPTIONS.

Here’s some of what’s really good—and really quite… terrible 🥴 —in the news this week:

1. Sickadish!t Hey! Remember last summer in Kenosha, Wisconsin, when Kyle Rittenhouse, then 17-years-old, crossed state lines with an ‘AR-15 style rifle’ and killed a few folks at a protest following the police-killing of Jacob Blake? Monday, his only survivor, Gaige Grosskreutz, testified in court. Grosskreutz is also suing the city of Kenosha for illegally deputizing a “roving militia” of “white nationalist vigilantes.” (NPR)
   

     

2. Make ‘bands not bans: Every last one of us loves somebody who had an abortion--whether they made it yo’ business or not. SNL’s Cecily Strong took to the Weekend Update desk to talk “clown abortion” and, keep it a buck, she’s right. It’s time to stop faking. They out here playing all up in our [redacted], and we out here letting ‘em. (Vox)
   
   

3. First of all, where is HR? Second, AoT-Hive, we beg, “WHO MANS IS THIS?” Paul Gosar (alleged) doctor and U.S. Congressman from Arizona, reposted a clip from Attack on Titan, with Rep. AOC and President Biden’s faces superimposed on titans he...took down. Tell C-Span, “Cut the cameras.” (NBC News)
   

4. What you WON’T do: Foreign Minister Simon Kofe taped his remarks to COP26 while standing knee-deep in the sea. The leader of Tuvalu is making legal contingency plans should richer countries fail to act on climate change, leaving island nations like his, literally, underwater. (Reuters)
   

5. Clout: This “university” of Austin can’t give you a degree, has no accreditation, and really hates anti-conservative ideas like, y’know, affirmative action. -_- So, what’s it like having too much money, time and power? (Texas Tribune)
   

6. Hey, do this rq: Afropunk and Shopify’s Black Fashion Accelerator program is looking to “give Black fashion entrepreneurs the acknowledgement, support and platform they deserve,” and, bestie, we think it’s time you bossed up. The deadline is November 14. (Afropunk)
   
   

7. Ciara + Lizzo are all of us: Missy Elliott paid tribute to the ‘Godmothers’ of Hip Hop during her Hollywood Walk of Fame Ceremony, and Ciara and Lizzo going full-Aretha on the sidelines?? Truly everything! Perfect! No notes! (Variety)
   
   

8. ¡BUENOS NOCHES! Yung Miami’s #RapFreaks charts on Billboard’s Hot 100 list. Congrats! (The Shade Room)